THE VIRTUE OF LOVE

THE FOUR KINDS OF LOVE

STORGE [Familial love]

PHILIA [Friendship Love]

EROS [Erotic Love]

AGAPE [DIVINE LOVE]

The divine command was not like your neighbor, but love your neighbor, When there is no spontaneous love. love begins only as a duty. We learn love by loving. This becomes clear as we grasp the mystery behind "Love your neighbor as yourself". First of all, the neighbor is not the person next door, or the one who borrowed a cup of sugar, the neighbor is the one in need or may even be an enemy. We love the sinner but hate the sin. When it

comes to loving those who are not likable - it takes the love of God to give the inspiration.

It is not easy to like certain people, but it is possible to love them. Loving is in the will, not in the glands; it is in that part of our being which is subject to moral commands, and is not a bodily reaction, like a wink. Love is not necessarily reciprocal. The friends we say we like, like us. But a mother can love a wayward son even though he does not return the affection. God can love us even when we spurn His graces.

This becomes clearer as we grasp the mystery behind "love thy neighbor as thyself." When analyzed, it becomes clear that I love myself when I do what is good, and I HATE MYSELF WHEN I DO WHAT IS WRONG. There will be certain things in my neighbor which I love, and other things that I will not love and they are the same things that were loved and hated in me. The theological virtue of love or charity is a completed thing, i.e. the song "You always hurt the one you love" In scripture, especially in the words of Jesus and His followers, love means charity - "Agape" in Greek and "Colita" in Latin.

To quote St, Paul, I st Cor. 1 3: 1 - 3:

Now I will show you the way which surpasses all others. If I speak with human tongue and angelic as well, but I do not have love, I am a noisy gong, a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and with full knowledge comprehend all mysteries, if I have faith great enough to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give everything I have to the poor and hand over my body to be burned but have not love I gain nothing.

THREE WORDS FOR LOVE

IN ENGLISH THERE IS ONLY ONE WORD FOR LOVE; IF THERE ARE SYNONYMS THEY DO NOT

HAVE VERY DEFINITE SHADES OF MEANING. HOWEVER THE GREEKS HAD THREE WORDS FOR IT.

THE FIRST WORD FOR LOVE WAS "EROS.' WHICH IS GENERALLY WHAT IS MEANT BY SEX-LOVE; IT IS SOMETHING BIOLOGICAL, GLANDULAR, INSTINCTIVE, EMOTIONAL. IT DOES NOT ALWAYS DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE PLEASURE AND THE PERSON, TOO OFTEN THE WINE CAN BE DRUNK AND THE GLASS FORGOTTEN. The illusion is created that there is deep affection for the other person, but what is really happening is that the EGO is projected into the other person What is actually loved is the pleasure which the person gives. The frosting on the cake is eaten but the cake ignored. This erotic love sometimes turns to hate. It is a very immature kind of love and that is why its sponsor "Cupid" is generally pictured as a child that has never grown up. ..

THE SECOND WORD IS "PHILIA." THIS IS THE KIND OF LOVE WHICH EXISTS BOTH IN FRIENDSHIP AND IN MARRIAGE..

In erotic love, the other person is replaceable, in philia the other person is irreplaceable. No one can take the place of them. Philia is based on the intellect rather than the glands to dominate the affections; the relation existing is of an I- Thou relationship rathe@han 1-it relation; affection is based on the responsibility of the I for

the thou. This was the kind of love that Damon had for Pythias, that made Jacob serve seven years to win the heart of Rachel. Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote 'I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life and if God chooses I shall but love thee better after death.

The third word for love was not much used in classical Greek was a love so noble and divine that Christianity alone made it popular - that word is "agape." It was used only ten times by Homer; it is found only three times in Euripides. The Greeks did not need such a word, because Plato held that there could be no real love between God and man, inasmuch as the gods being perfect desired nothing ;therefore, they had no love for man. Aristotle argued in the same way. He said that there was too great a disproportion between man and God to have any love between the two.

When God sent His only Son to this world to save it , and when His Divine Son offered His life on Calvary to redeem it, then was born a love between God and man which the Greeks could not and did not understand. That kind of love was best expressed by "agape." In contrast to it, the word "Eros" is nowhere found in the New Testament: the word "philia" in all its forms is found forty-five times , but the word "agape" is found 320 times. Once this agape began to exist, then it flowed down to illumine even the Eros; Eros became the sensible expression of the Divine Love; The only true lovers or friends are those whose love is explained by the agape of Him who so loved the world He sent His only begotten Son to redeem it.

The fourth word [not often mentioned] was STORGE [familial love. Love of husband and wife, the mother's love given even though spurned, patriotic love, etc. This love shows an expansion again out of self in order to help the neighbor, either as family, or nation, or humanity.

Love requires three terms, not only the lover and the beloved, but also that mysterious bond uniting both, which is love. To love anyone means to give one's talent, to give one's time, to give one's money; in a word, to become identified with the soul in crisis.

Father Judge wrote "I am telling you what the Cenacle spirit is: It is the spirit of Charity. You understand what charity is, the love of God and neighbor. It is a spirit of sacrifice. This is what makes the Cenacle spirit difficult. This is why we must pray to get it. We cannot have it unless we wish to put ourselves out. Without sacrifice the Cenacle is of no use, but with it the Cenacle will never perish. As long as that spirit is in the Cenacle, the Cenacle will be useful and God will use the Cenacle.

Love is patient, tolerant, benevolent. It extends to those beyond our own set, and is exercised not only to the good, but even toward the dull and the foolish who stumble.

Though we cannot love the weakness of others, yet we can love the weak and bear their infirmities, not breaking the bruised reed.

Cardinal Newman says " Love is all virtues at once. Root of all dispositions. He who abides in love, abides in God and God in him. God loves us when we don't even know it. We were made for love, and when we have love all questions are answered right then and there.

Love itself is a mystery. A handshake is more than the clasping of two hands. For example, if we put one of our hands inside the other, we do not regard it as a handshake. And why? Because there is lacking the invisible spiritual significance of friendship. Love is a messenger from God saying that all human affection is a spark from the great Flame of Love which is God. Love was meant to be a sign, a symbol, of the Divine.

I then read a poem from a book I borrowed from the gift shop. I do not remember the title of either the book nor the poem. Sorry

Always remember a smile lights up a heart and costs nothing but gives a priceless gift.

A hug is free but often priceless to the person who needs it.

It is easy to give and treasured when received.

Given at TRINITY June 6,i998

God Bless.

Eileen O'Brien